Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Itsa' Comin'!

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That’s right people. It is time to celebrate a man’s death by consuming mass amounts of alcohol. Who cares how long it actually took for Patrick to become ordained (he was 60 when he returned bringing Christianity and snake repelant to Ireland), let’s toss a Jameson into a half a Guinness, and slam the whole thing down. That is how you honor someone’s death… well, that is what I’ll be doin’. Actually, I am going to take it easy because I have a soccer game the following day. I am a Denver Free Agent, 3rd division, over thirty, amateur. This is the first game of the season, and I can’t wait to play. We have practiced once, will repeat tomorrow, and with luck, the team we are playing will be as out-of-shape as us. Sadly, there are only two possible outcomes: a humiliating loss or a painful win. And sadly again, I am leaning towards the former. I am in shape, but rusty, whereas is everyone else . I am in the CSSA, the most organized amateur group in the world. I had to get an ID card, and get this– we’re not allowed to curse. I am going to lose all my money, because Red cards are a $30 fine. Fuck that. Fuck that cock-sucking, mother-fucking, steaming pile of bullshit! Every time I fuck up on the field, which is often, I say, “Shit”! I say it as Eddie Murphy said in his routine about white people saying shit, with an emphasis on the ssshhh and a strong accent on the t sound. “ShhhiT, shhhiT. Stop fuckin’ pushing me, man!” –EM. It rolls out of my mouth like CO2, naturally.
Man Man is coming. I can buy their album at the show. I always like doing this, as I feel that they get more money this way. Ratatat are comin' too! And saint's be praised, Animal Collective are headed up.
Well, I have something to do, so I’ll post some pictures later at Flickr of my game. They won’t be pretty, but what is?