"Hell is other people"- Jean-Paul Sartre

I was shocked to see, er actually, to read about his death. Isn’t death a time to reflect, yes? Well, not even The Methuselah Enzyme will help a once ally of ours out, no. And now that rock music is popular for funerals, I wonder what is going to be played at his. And since I know squat of Middle Eastern music, I find it better to relay what I want played at my wake:

“Cold Rain” by the Screaming Trees. “Everywhere I have to go is so very far away” For some reason, unbeknownst to me, that line is steadfast, with a mantra-like persistence in my mind. I don’t particularly like the rain, so the title means diddly, but it is a mood setter, and a proper song to a (hopefully) somber situation.

“Dry the Rain” by the Beta Band. Duh! Who doesn’t want this played at their funeral/cremation/wake/whatever? “Choking on the vitamin tablet the doctor gave in the hope of saving me” What fun lyrics about a haunting scene. Kind of a sad start to a song that finishes with a wonderfully positive ending “it’ll be alright” and what I thought was simply I’ll Be Alright, but is actually “I will be your light”. I like my verse better, and if I were haunting the drunken wake by appearing under a beer-stained shroud, I would make sure to emphasize my mistaken lyrics during the chorus. Problem fixed, problem solved.

“Slug Song” by The Clean. “Don’t ever go and rearrange your mind, don’t ever change” This is a quick song, but a driving one at that. You can hear David Kilgour singing with an earnest, if necessary need for approval from, and to which this song is about. It reminds me of Joe Strummers’ take on (White Man) In Hammersmith Palais. That conviction of assured strength in the vocals makes the song better than if anybody else in the entire world, ever, were to attempt the slightest degree of this tonal perfection.

“Cosmic Rays” by Helium. This song name checks Saint Christopher and says, “I really don't care about this song”. That confidence alone is something worth striving for, even in death.

“Isolation” by Joy Division. “This is my one consolation, this is my one lucky prize” from the live version on Still. I just think it would be interesting if people started dancing to this sad, sad song. It wouldn’t happen, but I won’t be there to not witness it, huh?

“Teardrop” by Massive Attack. “Gentle impulsion, Shakes me, makes me lighter” I will weep from no matter where, always when this song is played. Christ, even the YouTube cover versions here and here just put my ears in a shameful orgy of not taking up guitar playing and dating a woman who can sing so well. Even before I die, this song rocks my little world. It is a good song for sex, for death, for graduations, for cruising to any destination, for eating toast, for watching TV with the sound turned low, and for writing a blog for this song started my list and randomly played on shuffle. (I'm looking over my shoulder right now for a ghost, but there are only a bunch of books.) This is what song writers should listen to before they write anything new. It would humble Mozart, guaranteed.

And by now, my friends and relatives would be piss-drunk and ready to go. I’ll bet half wouldn’t have sat through more than the first song anyway. To be tasteless, I would tack on Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” after a seventeen minute silence just for a last laugh.